The Return of the Poet

Here's something I wrote a couple days ago; it's been a while since I've written anything poetic.
--
This Question Haunts Me Still

The foolish man I see, through my years and history,
All the flaws and errored ways, the regretted yesterdays,
My attempts at turning round, hopes of landing on solid ground,
Longing to forget that past, believing I can change at last.

I leave my former days behind, buried in the depths of mind,
Looking forward, not looking back, grasping what I used to lack,
The blood drips upon my soul, the broken body is here to hold,
My life was once in disarray, but You have made it new today.

Yet this question haunts me still, if I am a city on a hill,
If forgiveness covers me, if I'm dead to sin and forever free,
If my past is gone and my future bright, if I'm walking in the light,
Why do I turn and thus allow, sin to yet control me now?

These evil ways that thrive within, bring shame upon my heart again,
For I was saved and I was clean, my eyes shown with sights unseen,
Drowned in forgiveness and bathed in the light, sin was defeated and gone was the night,
Despite my attempts to live life as I should, I fell into darkness as You knew that I would.

I do what I hate and I hate what I do, my life is a lie that I'm trying to prove,
Though I've given my life to grace, I fall and I stumble every step of the race,
Each time I'm shamed and I look back to You, Your hand is outstretched and the forgiveness is true,
You remind me we've fallen short of the glory, but this side of Heaven's not the end of the story.